Parent Teacher Conferences: 5 Questions to Ask Your Child’s Teacher About Behavior, Mood, and Emotional Regulation

5 questions to guide important conversations with your child’s teacher.

It’s that time of year again - school has been in full swing for a couple of months and it’s time to connect with teachers for Parent Teacher Conferences.  While this is a great opportunity for parents to learn about how your child is navigating the academic demands of their school day, it is equally important to assess their emotional wellbeing.  

Depending on our schedules during the school year, teachers sometimes spend more time with our kids during their waking hours than we do.  School provides our kids with ample opportunity to learn to manage emotions, build relationships, and practice self-control in a structured environment. 

For parents, asking the right questions can help connect what’s happening at school with what’s happening at home and can help ensure that your child gets consistent, supportive care across both settings.

Here are 5 questions to guide those important conversations with your child’s teacher.

1. “How does my child handle frustration or disappointment at school?”

This question helps you understand your child’s emotional regulation skills - how they react when things don’t go their way. Does your child bounce back quickly after mistakes, or do they need more support calming down? Teachers often see how children manage emotions under stress (like losing a game or getting feedback on work).  It can be helpful to note similarities and differences between how your child uses emotional regulation skills at school versus home.

2. “Are there particular triggers or situations that seem to lead to challenging behaviors?”

Identifying triggers, like noise, transitions, academic pressure, or peer dynamics, helps everyone understand why certain behaviors occur. When adults can predict and prevent triggers, children feel safer and more capable of managing their emotions.

3. “What supports, interventions, or strategies are already in place if my child struggles emotionally?”

If your child has difficulty self-regulating, it’s important to know what systems the school uses to help: calm-down corners, counseling, small group support, mindfulness breaks, etc. Ask how these resources are used and whether you can reinforce them at home. Additionally, teachers may have go-to tools or calming strategies that work for your child, like taking a break, deep breathing, or using sensory supports. Knowing what helps at school can give you ideas for consistent strategies to use at home.

4. “Have you noticed any patterns in my child’s mood or energy levels throughout the day?”

Mood and attention can shift depending on time of day, subject, or setting. For example, some children struggle more in the afternoons or after lunch. These patterns can reveal whether issues are linked to fatigue, hunger, or environmental factors rather than behavior alone.

5. “How can we work together to support my child’s emotional growth?”

This final question invites partnership. It opens the door to ongoing communication and shared strategies between home and school, which is essential for helping kids feel understood and supported in all environments.  Just as your child’s teacher may have ideas for what is working in the classroom, you have valuable insight into what works at home.

The Takeaway

Asking thoughtful questions about your child’s mood, behavior, and emotional regulation opens the door to collaboration between home and school.  These questions can prompt further discussion around similarities or differences in your child’s behavior at home and school, and may generate ideas on new or alternative strategies to implement across both environments. Before the conference, let your child know that you will have a chance to learn about their classroom. After the conference, connect back with your child and share some of the things you learned. This reinforces the partnership between home and school in your child’s brain and can help them to integrate useful strategies across environments.